Meeting new people

The surrogacy agency I have been working with has been really great, and one of my favorite parts (other than their fantastic IP/surrogate matching skills) is my case manager. She's been so on top of things, always helping me when I need it, and being there for me in any way she can. Unfortunately, she lives in Chicago. This week she is visiting the Denver office though, so she came over to our house for dinner last night.

It was really great finally meeting her in person, and the kids had so much fun playing with her. She has such a lively energy and they fed off that like crazy. She also brought ice cream, so that just made Amy instantly love her :)

She's also vegan. I, not being vegan, wasn't sure what to make and scoured recipe books and websites for something interesting and delicious. I eventually came across something that led me to make up my own recipe. Vegan fajitas. I made homemade flour tortillas with cashew milk and just threw lots of veggies in them. I thought it turned out very good and was pleased with myself.

Before she left, Amy said to my case manager "Will you ask your mom if you can come back and babysit us?" It was quite adorable and we definitely laughed about that on her way out. Overall, I think it was quite a fun night.

Sick Baby

Cole woke up around midnight last night burning up with fever and crying a lot. This continued for several hours. I could tell he felt awful. So tired, but too sick to actually sleep. We were up for a while, and then when he did sleep, it was a very short time before he woke up crying again. The Tylenol just wasn't working and I felt really bad for him. We made it through the night, and now today he seems to be a little better, though certainly not well.
I just put him down for his second nap of the day, which hasn't happened in a really long time, so I know he must be tired.

So while he sleeps, I decided to make myself a cup of tea and take a break. Him not sleeping also means I didn't get to sleep. And when I did, it was on the couch near his bedroom so I could get to him quicker. Not the most comfortable place.

Hopefully he gets more rest tonight and feels better tomorrow. If nothing else, Grandma is coming to visit and that always makes him feel better.

Playing catch up

Look at this

There is nothing on our calendar today, and it's amazing. I've felt so busy lately, that this was a wonderful sight, especially after such a long and tiring weekend. So I'm using the day to catch up on things. Blog posts, dishes, house cleaning, resting and recovering. It's 2pm and we are all still in our pajamas, and I probably won't change that. We (I) needed a rest day. I can only do so much these days without feeling overly exhausted, or just making a an effort to try not to overdo it. So things like cleaning have definitely fallen behind. The kids are also currently enjoying eating waffles while watching a movie. So I think it's a good day for everyone!

Father's Day and the Renaissance Festival

Sunday was Father's Day. We celebrated by having breakfast and giving Brandon his gifts. Then, to give him a day to himself to do whatever he wanted, I took the kids to the Renaissance Festival. I don't think it was quite Amy's cup of tea, but she was still a trooper. We watched a few shows and walked the grounds a bit. They were very rocky and uneven, so pushing the stroller was an adventure, but we made it through. We all enjoyed spending the day with other family as well.

We couldn't leave without getting Amy a flower headband, which she loved. She picked one in her two favorite colors, purple and pink. 

Pardon the chocolate all over her face. She fell down and hurt herself on the rocks, so she had some ice cream with chocolate syrup. Ice cream can help lots of things feel better :)

Cole's birthday

Cole turned two years old on Saturday, so we had a small party at the house to celebrate. Granted, he didn't actually know it was his birthday, but he enjoyed everyone coming over anyway.

I made him his own cake and he was amazed

Then we told him to eat it and he didn't really know what to think. He took about two bites this way.

He got a spoon and destroyed it more than ate it. After he was done, Amy wanted to go at it. She made a tunnel.

Ultrasound day!

I'm now 19 weeks, 4 days along in the pregnancy. Today we had our 20 week ultrasound to check how these little guys are doing in there. Everything went great! Both babies had good heart rates, they both had all parts functioning as they should, and are even measuring ahead of schedule. Baby Boy is measuring at 20 weeks, Baby Girl is measuring at 20 weeks and 1 day. I know it's not much ahead, but sometimes twin growth can be an issue, so I am happy to see they are currently growing at a good rate. I hope they keep it up!

The best part about the ultrasound though, was that we were able to video chat with the IPs! So while they were unable to be there in person, they were still able to see their babies actively moving around, and their hearts beating. Thankfully, Melissa was there to keep me company and to also be my videographer, holding the phone up and telling the IPs everything they were looking at. It was incredible.
I know the process of having children has been a difficult one for my IPs, and I can't wait for them to meet their babies in a few short months. So many of us take for granted how easily it is to start and have our families. Their journey will finally have a happy ending, and I'm so happy to be the one to experience it with them and help them out along the way. I've known people who struggled with infertility and they've told me how heart breaking it is, how much they struggled to achieve what came so easily to us. And now I get to be part of a happy ending for at least one couple out there who has been going through that. It's amazing. And very much worth the days of not feeling so well or of being exhausted. It all comes together to make such a beautiful thing happen.

Quitting Time

So I know it's only been a few days, but I've decided to phase out potty training. Or at least slow it down, a lot. When we're at home, I've been trying really hard to work with Cole on this. Unfortunately, we've been pretty busy, and haven't been at home much. This leads to confusing him with the training, and when we are home, it's not near as productive. So the whole process has been exhausting and stressful.

So I've decided that now is not the time to add extra stress or exhaustion into my life. To keep these babies healthy, I need to relax and be as least stressed as I can. One thing I can easily eliminate to help this along is potty training. And I don't feel bad because Cole is just barely turning two on Saturday. He's still young, we have plenty of time. I'll try again probably at the beginning of next year.

I'm proud of Cole for the progress he made, and I think if I could sit at home all the time and focus only on him, he could get it quickly. But life doesn't work like that, so we are changing it up. We need to do what works best for us, and right now it's to continue with the diapers and put potty training on hold. Now, if he requests to use the restroom, I will still take him and encourage him, but I won't be pushing it.

Family fun time

Yesterday we went to see Melissa, Joseph, and their new baby Oliver. The kids live going over there and it's always fun to hang out with them.

This is what Cole does when we try to get a good picture

Melissa sharing some tummy time with Oliver

Amy was reading on the ottoman, and I thought she just looked too cute to pass up an opportunity for a picture

She's also been really into Legos lately, and gotten pretty good at building them too. Here is yesterday's creation.

Joseph and Grandma were also there to hang out, and the kids really enjoyed playing with them, but unfortunately I didn't get any pictures. Next time!

Denver Aquarium

Today we decided to make use of our aquarium membership and headed to Denver with some friends. Thanks to Disney Junior's Octonauts, Amy loves all underwater life. She is fascinated by creatures of the sea and knows a good bit about them too. So she loves the aquarium. And even Cole is beginning to appreciate as well.

Playing with bubbles before going inside

Amy walking around with her friend

Playing in one of the bubble windows that look inside a tank

She even got to meet some mermaids

And get a unicorn painted on her face

I think the helmet is a little too big ;)

Weekend Update

The weekend was long and a bit stressful, but we made it through. Amy had a blast camping. She got to do lots of fun activities and spend the entire weekend with just her and Daddy. Here are a few more pictures Brandon sent me from their time.

On the train

Riding pedal cars

As for me and Cole, our weekend was fairly successful.
On day 1, we spent the entire day in the bathroom reading books, playing with toys and FaceTiming with family. It was a bit rough, but went well. He used the potty 85% of the time. Though he did get clever about it. I gave him an M&M every time he used it. So he would sit, go potty a little bit, get candy. Then sit right back down, go a little bit more, get candy. He would repeat this 7 or 8 times in a row before he just couldn't get any more out.
Day 2, I couldn't spend another entire day in the bathroom, so I modified it a bit. I put training pants on him, which are like underwear, but have extra fabric in the crotch area so that nothing drips out. Continuing from the day before, any time I would ask him to go, he did. He wouldn't go on his own though. If I went too long without asking him to try, he would pee in the training pants. I'm not surprised though. I think it will just take a little longer to first recognize that he needs to go, and then hold it and walk to the potty. It's a bit more to comprehend. I think we had a good start though, and we'll keep working on it as much as we can.

Overall, a pretty good, albeit exhausting, weekend.

(Boot) Camp Weekend

Brandon and Amy left this evening to go camping for two nights. Amy was super excited, and I know they are gonna have a lot of fun. They are staying at KOA campground, which is just barely camping since they have things like restrooms, showers, electricity and even a general store. But they are gonna sleep in a tent, so it still counts, right? This particular KOA also has other fun things like a lake to fish in, a swimming pool, paddle boats for the lake, mini golf, a bouncy castle, and fun activities the camp puts on during the weekends. I must say, I'm a little jealous of those two.

While they are camping, Cole and I will be staying home and attempting some potty training boot camp. I know he's still fairly young to start (not quite two), but he has shown interest in the potty, and has peed in there three times so far. So we're gonna try it, and even if it fails and he's not quite ready, we're no worse off than we were yesterday. But if he can get it, and wants to start using the potty, I will be thrilled to no longer buy and change diapers.
It also took us a long time to fully train Amy, and just in case it takes that long with Cole as well, we need to start soon. He'll be old enough for preschool next August (2016), and he's gotta be trained to start. So I have a deadline.

I've taken ideas from other 3 day potty training sessions and sort of adapted them for us. I'm not using any particular approach, just what I feel is right for us.
Starting tomorrow morning, Cole will be drinking as much liquids as I can get him to, as well as eat foods like watermelon and popsicles, to make sure that bladder needs emptying often. Then we will hang out and play in the bathroom (or on other non-carpeted floors) without a diaper and just get him to sit on the potty often. If he goes, he gets a few M&M's and lots of praise and I might even make up a song. If he goes on the floor, he doesn't get in trouble or anything, I will just try to correct him and tell him where to go.
Needless to say, it's gonna be a long and interesting weekend. I am hoping for the best and will update with my results either tomorrow night or Sunday night. Wish us luck!

Edit: Brandon just sent me these pictures. I guess when they got there, Amy couldn't wait to get on the paddle boats.

And here is their tent set up on the lake. I'm quite jealous.

Amy's new slang

I bought lounge pants and when I put them on...

Amy- "Wow, those pants look famous with that purple shirt"
Me- "Famous?"
Amy- "Yea, it means I like them a lot"


So either my 5 year old knows slang that I don't, or she decided to make her own.

My new favorite lunch

I found a recipe several days ago and I've eaten it every day this week. So delicious!

Grilled avocado, mozzarella, and tomato sandwich

Another day in the water

Today's plans were to go to Eldorado Canyon State Park and swim in their spring fed pool with Melissa, Joseph, and their new baby, Oliver. Mother Nature decided to change those plans. It was raining pretty heavily at that pool, so we decided to head to a local recreation center with an indoor pool. I love the rec centers here because they all have indoor heated pools with a normal pool area, a child's area with water slide, and a lazy river with an even bigger water slide.

We had a great time there. Both kids seemed to really enjoy themselves, and even Oliver was happy in the water for a while, before he just seemed to need a snack and a nap. But really, who couldn't use a snack and a nap, right? ;)

Again, I'm bad and didn't get any pictures. I thought it would be a bad idea to take my phone into a water area. Joseph had their waterproof camera though, and he got some good ones. So maybe I can steal a few of their pictures and post them on a later date.

Then we all went to Ihop and had some delicious food. It's been nice to see those guys as much as we have since Oliver was born. Normally, life just tends to get in the way, as it does. Everyone works and weekends fill up fast. So we've been taking advantage of their time off.


Now the kids are in bed, and Brandon is out for the night, so I get to sit down and take a much needed break. Over the past two weeks, Cole seems to have entered the "terrible twos". Perfect timing since he turns two next Saturday. So he's been a bit difficult to handle, but I just have to take it on a day to day basis. Actually, I think it's more like an hour to hour basis. That kid is exhausting, I feel like I can barely keep up anymore. Amy never really entered that "terrible twos" phase, so I was hoping we would get lucky and Cole would skip it also, haha. I should have known better. He's such a different kid than Amy.

Well now it's time to use this quiet to my advantage. Get a few things done, maybe take a bath and watch some more Rent, then probably go to bed. These kids will be up early and we have a busy day!

Pretty Fairy

Cole likes to wear Amy's dress up clothes as much as she does. Especially these light-up fairy wings 

A Day at the Lake

The kids and I went to Union Reservoir today and enjoyed a few hours there swimming with some friends. It was our first swimming venture this summer, so I had to pull out the suits and floaties and all that kids require to swim. Amy and Cole both had a lot of fun. One of Amy's good friends was there, and we hadn't seen them in a while, so of course she had a blast. Cole mostly played with the sand in the shallow water. He tried venturing out a few times, but then fell and came right back. Sometimes he wants to be brave, and then I think he remembers he doesn't like to ;)

I also got to spend some time talking to a friend, which was really nice. We don't see them as often as I would like, and it's always great when we do.

I didn't end up getting any pictures because I've been trying not to pull out my phone much, especially around the kids. Maybe next time though. It was a really nice lake and the kids had fun, so we will definitely be going back.

Night out

Last night, my brother Brant came over to watch the kids, and Brandon and I were able to have a night out. These don't happen often, so it was really nice. 

We went to dinner at Olive Garden, thanks to a very generous gift card that our IPs sent us. The meal was great. I'm not generally a big drinker, but I did sort of miss having a glass of wine with dinner, only because they serve my favorite Moscato D' Asti. A very small sacrifice though. 

Then after dinner, we went to the movies to see Pitch Perfect 2, which we've been wanting to do for a while. It was very good, and definitely better than most sequels, but I do disagree with those who say it was better than the first. I still enjoyed the first one more. 

Today, Brant took Amy out to her first baseball game. She was so excited to go, so I think she'll have a lot of fun. And Brant has been wanting to take her to a game for a while. I'm glad they've were finally able to go.

The Book

So this twin thing is new to me. I've heard of all of the possible complications and it's a little scary. I want to make the healthiest babies possible while also keeping myself healthy at the same time. I heard a lot of good things about this book, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy. I'm not very far into it yet, so I can't say much about it. So far, the biggest thing it has focused in is gaining weight. I'm supposed to gain 25 pounds by 20 weeks. I believe I have gained less than 15 at this point, so I gotta work on that. They said to gain the weight with healthy foods, so I mostly just have to eat a lot, which hasn't been super easy. I can't eat a lot at once so I've been trying to have healthy snacks several times throughout the day. The weight I gain now is supposed to better sustain the babies when they start growing more, helping them to gain enough weight to be healthy. According to this book, if the babies aren't gaining enough weight, it triggers something in the body that causes preterm labor. I'd like to avoid both of those things.

Also, I'm supposed to drink 128 ounces of water a day. This has probably been the bigger struggle. I've never been good at drinking the normal recommended about of 64 ounces per day. So it takes a lot of thought and effort. I started infusing it with fruits and berries sometimes, which definitely helps.

So I will continue reading this book in hopes that all of their recommendations lead to two healthy, full term babies!

One of my favorite snacks

A new journey

I've been debating posting this for a long time. I tend to be a private person. So while I post things on here from time to time about our life and the kids, I know that not many people I know read it, and I also don't post a lot of truly personal things. This one is different. This is very personal, but I decided it was worth sharing. I haven't told many people other than close friends and family about this, mostly just because of the part of me that doesn't share much personal stuff with the world. I don't want anyone to think it's a secret or that I am ashamed though, because it's very far from that. I am proud of what I am about to share. In twenty years, I believe that when I look back on my life, this is one thing I will remember most and be very proud of accomplishing. I may not be able to change the world or affect a million people, but I believe I am changing one family's world. So here goes.

I am currently a gestational surrogate, 17 weeks pregnant with twins for an amazing couple who couldn't be more deserving of a family.

Now, back to the beginning. Several years ago, I saw a TV show that featured a woman who was a surrogate. I thought it was such a neat idea. At the time, I didn't think much more of it than that. Then, about 3 years ago, the idea came back to me and I looked into it and researched it a lot. It felt like something that I was called to do, but I didn't feel ready at the time, so I decided to put the idea on the back burner. Shortly after that, we decided to have Cole. When he turned one, the idea of surrogacy popped back into my head, but this time it just felt right. I felt like I was ready. So I researched more in depth this time, looked into a lot of the details that it would involve. I knew I wanted to do it, so I found a highly reputable agency and contacted them. They had an extensive screening process that took months and included a lot of questionnaires, phone consultations, a psych evaluation and even a home visit. Thankfully, I was approved and moved on to the next step.

I received a call that there was a potential match for me. They were a couple in another country and they wanted to meet me. So we all arranged a Skype call and spoke with them. I knew immediately they were perfect. They were so incredibly nice and I could tell they would be super supportive and communicative throughout the process. I could also tell that they would trust me completely with their unborn child(ren), which felt good. A few days later, we were officially matched. For privacy reasons, I will called them IM (intended mother) and IF (intended father).

We were unable to talk to them for a few months after this, because there are several steps to go through in this process. First, I had a medical screening with their fertility clinic, which went well. Then we had to go through the legal process. With surrogacy, comes a very extensive contract. It's a sensitive topic, with a lot of possible outcomes, so the contract is meant to protect everyone involved and make sure everyone agrees to do their part.

After that was complete, it was time to start medication for the upcoming embryo transfer. The medication was a bit overwhelming at first, but each one is taken at different times throughout the medication period, so it never felt like too much. Even when I had to take a large needle to the butt muscles, I took it like a champ and just kept telling myself how worth it they would be.

Then the first truly exciting part. The transfer. It's an incredibly quick and simple process. They thread a tiny catheter into your uterus and basically spitball some embryos in there. And that's it. Then we waited 12 days to take a blood test to check hCG levels. Mine were very high and we were all thrilled. We did that test 3 times to make sure they were rising appropriately. Then it was time for an ultrasound. During the first ultrasound, the doctor told me he saw and baby, then he asked me if they transferred two, I said yes, and he told me both of them took! We had twins! Which was perfect, because my IPs (Intended Parents) initially told us they were hoping for twins. So while I was a bit nervous about carrying twins, I was very excited for them.

I started feeling the morning sickness and fatigue right away. The morning sickness wasn't generally too bad. There were a few days where I couldn't seem to keep any food down, but for the most part, I was alright. The fatigue hit me a little harder. The kids watched a lot of movies for a few weeks because it was hard for me to do anything. They didn't complain though, they would be thrilled if I let them watch movies all day, every day. These things were definitely over by the end of the first trimester, (even a few weeks before I believe) which I was happy about, because some women feel it throughout the entire pregnancy. I felt lucky.

Between then and now has been a series of doctors appointments, ultrasounds and blood draws. Everything has gone great so far. The babies have strong heart rates and are growing well. I talk to my IPs fairly often. They check in to ask how I am doing/feeling, what they can do for me, etc. They've been really wonderful. I also check in with them any time I have an update from the doctor or with pictures of how I am growing with these babies. We have our structural ultrasound in 2 weeks and I can't wait. With them living so far away, they unfortunately can't be here in person, so we are going to video chat during the ultrasound. I can't wait for them to see their babies moving the way I have seen it so many times.

I am 17 weeks along, and feeling great. I have less energy than I normally would and I get tired quicker from physical activity (even standing too long), but that's as great as I could expect at this point, so I'm happy!

We recently told Amy about the situation and she thought it was really cool. Cole is still too young to understand. All of our friends and family have been very supportive and we couldn't be more grateful for that. They all had questions, of course. This is such a new idea for so many people. I'm happy to answer any and all questions anyone has though. So if you, reading this, have any questions for me, ask away! I am happy to share my experience and anything that goes along with it. I hope to continue to post my progress and feelings. One reason I haven't been great at updating lately, is because so much of my life has been about this, and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to mention it or not. Now it's out there and I hope to continue to be open.