I've been debating posting this for a long time. I tend to be a private person. So while I post things on here from time to time about our life and the kids, I know that not many people I know read it, and I also don't post a lot of truly personal things. This one is different. This is very personal, but I decided it was worth sharing. I haven't told many people other than close friends and family about this, mostly just because of the part of me that doesn't share much personal stuff with the world. I don't want anyone to think it's a secret or that I am ashamed though, because it's very far from that. I am proud of what I am about to share. In twenty years, I believe that when I look back on my life, this is one thing I will remember most and be very proud of accomplishing. I may not be able to change the world or affect a million people, but I believe I am changing one family's world. So here goes.
I am currently a gestational surrogate, 17 weeks pregnant with twins for an amazing couple who couldn't be more deserving of a family.
Now, back to the beginning. Several years ago, I saw a TV show that featured a woman who was a surrogate. I thought it was such a neat idea. At the time, I didn't think much more of it than that. Then, about 3 years ago, the idea came back to me and I looked into it and researched it a lot. It felt like something that I was called to do, but I didn't feel ready at the time, so I decided to put the idea on the back burner. Shortly after that, we decided to have Cole. When he turned one, the idea of surrogacy popped back into my head, but this time it just felt right. I felt like I was ready. So I researched more in depth this time, looked into a lot of the details that it would involve. I knew I wanted to do it, so I found a highly reputable agency and contacted them. They had an extensive screening process that took months and included a lot of questionnaires, phone consultations, a psych evaluation and even a home visit. Thankfully, I was approved and moved on to the next step.
I received a call that there was a potential match for me. They were a couple in another country and they wanted to meet me. So we all arranged a Skype call and spoke with them. I knew immediately they were perfect. They were so incredibly nice and I could tell they would be super supportive and communicative throughout the process. I could also tell that they would trust me completely with their unborn child(ren), which felt good. A few days later, we were officially matched. For privacy reasons, I will called them IM (intended mother) and IF (intended father).
We were unable to talk to them for a few months after this, because there are several steps to go through in this process. First, I had a medical screening with their fertility clinic, which went well. Then we had to go through the legal process. With surrogacy, comes a very extensive contract. It's a sensitive topic, with a lot of possible outcomes, so the contract is meant to protect everyone involved and make sure everyone agrees to do their part.
After that was complete, it was time to start medication for the upcoming embryo transfer. The medication was a bit overwhelming at first, but each one is taken at different times throughout the medication period, so it never felt like too much. Even when I had to take a large needle to the butt muscles, I took it like a champ and just kept telling myself how worth it they would be.
Then the first truly exciting part. The transfer. It's an incredibly quick and simple process. They thread a tiny catheter into your uterus and basically spitball some embryos in there. And that's it. Then we waited 12 days to take a blood test to check hCG levels. Mine were very high and we were all thrilled. We did that test 3 times to make sure they were rising appropriately. Then it was time for an ultrasound. During the first ultrasound, the doctor told me he saw and baby, then he asked me if they transferred two, I said yes, and he told me both of them took! We had twins! Which was perfect, because my IPs (Intended Parents) initially told us they were hoping for twins. So while I was a bit nervous about carrying twins, I was very excited for them.
I started feeling the morning sickness and fatigue right away. The morning sickness wasn't generally too bad. There were a few days where I couldn't seem to keep any food down, but for the most part, I was alright. The fatigue hit me a little harder. The kids watched a lot of movies for a few weeks because it was hard for me to do anything. They didn't complain though, they would be thrilled if I let them watch movies all day, every day. These things were definitely over by the end of the first trimester, (even a few weeks before I believe) which I was happy about, because some women feel it throughout the entire pregnancy. I felt lucky.
Between then and now has been a series of doctors appointments, ultrasounds and blood draws. Everything has gone great so far. The babies have strong heart rates and are growing well. I talk to my IPs fairly often. They check in to ask how I am doing/feeling, what they can do for me, etc. They've been really wonderful. I also check in with them any time I have an update from the doctor or with pictures of how I am growing with these babies. We have our structural ultrasound in 2 weeks and I can't wait. With them living so far away, they unfortunately can't be here in person, so we are going to video chat during the ultrasound. I can't wait for them to see their babies moving the way I have seen it so many times.
I am 17 weeks along, and feeling great. I have less energy than I normally would and I get tired quicker from physical activity (even standing too long), but that's as great as I could expect at this point, so I'm happy!
We recently told Amy about the situation and she thought it was really cool. Cole is still too young to understand. All of our friends and family have been very supportive and we couldn't be more grateful for that. They all had questions, of course. This is such a new idea for so many people. I'm happy to answer any and all questions anyone has though. So if you, reading this, have any questions for me, ask away! I am happy to share my experience and anything that goes along with it. I hope to continue to post my progress and feelings. One reason I haven't been great at updating lately, is because so much of my life has been about this, and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to mention it or not. Now it's out there and I hope to continue to be open.
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